Why I Believe Marriage Shouldn’t Be Allowed Before Age 25

By Jennifer Nagy
6/4/12

Age is just a number… except when it comes to marriage.

Let’s look at my stats:
Current age – 29
Divorced for – 8 months
Separated for – 1 year, 9 months
Age when I met my ex – 19
Age when I married – 24

Which brings me to my point: couples should not be allowed to get married before age 25.

While I know that this statement is going to make me very unpopular with readers, I do believe that it would be for the best — better both for the institution of marriage and the individuals getting married — if we could change the law to prevent couples from getting married before the age of 25.

In my experience, marriage before 25 was not the smartest idea. I met my ex at the tender young age of 19 (just a few months after my birthday). I was enjoying the freedom of drinking and partying legally for the first time (I live in Canada where the drinking age is 19). I had yet to figure out who I was or what I wanted in my life. I was naïve and impressionable, and when I met my much older ex, I was perfectly happy to let him take control of my life, creating a relationship dynamic that continued for the nine years we were together.

We decided to get married when I was 24. It seemed like the right thing to do at the time because everyone knows that after five years, you should be married or at least engaged, right? It was definitely the message that I was getting from all of our friends. So we took the plunge, getting married on the beach in Miami Beach in front of our friends and family.

That’s where the problems began. Once the excitement of planning a beach wedding was over, after the suntan had faded, I was left simply living my life with my husband. Don’t get me wrong, I loved him — and a part of me always will. But because we had started dating at such a young age, he was marrying someone who had absolutely no idea who she was and what she wanted in her life. In short, it was a recipe for divorce.

People under the age of 25 are still discovering themselves; they are figuring out what is most important in their lives. They are discovering the joys (and heartache) of being in a relationship, and then the partying that often characterizes life between relationships. They are figuring out what their relationship “deal-breakers” are and who their most appropriate partners would be. While a person may be 100 percent certain that they love something — or someone — at the age of 21, by 29, they will most likely completely change their mind. Life is anything but certain.

My opinions are based solely on my personal experiences and the experiences of the people that I know and have observed. That being said, marriage and divorce statistics do support my claim. According to the National Center for Health Statistics, approximately 60 percent of marriages in which the couple marries between age 20 and 25 will end in divorce. A scary figure for young lovebirds… but definitely one that validates my opinion.

Who knows? Maybe there are 20-year-olds that get married and stay madly in love for their whole lives. Maybe puppy love can last forever.

Could be. Maybe there is such thing as fairies and unicorns too.

Just saying…

Huffington Post

Posted on June 8, 2012, in divorce, Private Investigators, relationships and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. It’s hard for me to “argue” with your post. I don’t really want to argue-but I must say that I disagree. That’s only because I’m 20 and naive in a way. I believe in fairy tales and love lasting forever. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about four years now (he is 21), and we want to get married so badly ( I think I more so than him) but our financial state forbids it. When I first shared my interest of getting married young with my mother, of course she said I wasn’t mature enough and that I should wait. What am I waiting for except more financial stability? I’m one of those people that believes not every day is promised to you. I’ve found the love of my life, and yet I’m told that I still must wait. I could die in 2 years. So what would all my waiting be for? I know, a bit extreme thinking. Again, it’s difficult to argue against your post because well-statistics don’t lie. But I’m going to continue to be naive and believe in happily ever after. Thank You for the post.

  2. You need God in a marriage. He is the only one who holds a marriage together. I’ve been married at 18 and I am now 22 with a beautiful baby girl. We read and live by the bible. It clearly tells us how to have a successful marriage, and yes our marriage is beyond successful. We do everything together, and have a beautiful baby girl. We strongly love each other no matter what trials we face. You needed god in your relationship. Trust me. My grand ore was married at 18 and still is married today for 45 years. She has god but my grandfather doesn’t, but my grandmother live up to her standards by e bible. Age is nothing but a number, it all depends on the person. Just because your marriage didn’t work before 25 don’t mean the world marriage wouldnt work.

  3. Grandfather

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